The're All Nuts
by Stormshadow13
Summary: Short funny story. What happens when Pyro eates a lot of sugar? How will the other Acolytes handle him? Read and find out.


They're All Nuts!

By Stormshadow13

Disclaimer: "I don't own Pyro, Gambit, Sabertooth, Colossus, or Magneto."

"Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored! Oy'm so bored!" complained Pyro as he rummaged around the 'fridg. "Yum! Cool Whip!" He pulled out the container and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. Pyro settled at the table and dug in.

Gambit was walking down the hall headed for the kitchen. "Merde, Gambit's bored! He wishes somet'ing would happen." Gambit walked into the kitchen and stopped dead. He saw Pyro sitting at the table eating a small container of Cool Whip and drinking a cup of coffee. He also saw a dirty bowl in the sink that still had a bit of chocolate in it and four Jolt Cola cans in the trash. "OH, MERDE!"

Pyro jumped and looked up at the horrified-looking Gambit. "Ello mate!" he chirped.

Gambit got a bad feeling. Pyro+Sugar CHAOS. "How much sugar did you eat?"

Pyro stared at the wall for a moment. "Well, let's see, Oy had: an ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce, a bowl of Captain Crunch, two buckets of cotton candy, a jumbo bag of Pixie Stix, nine cups of coffee and five Jolt Colas," said Pyro happily. "Oh, and half of this thing of Cool Whip."

Gambit's bad feeling turned into a sense of impending doom. He was going to need backup. "Gambit t'inks he should be more careful in what he wishes for," he muttered.

Just then a roar echoed through the base. "PYRO!"

"Er, oy think oy must be goin'," said Pyro as he lept to his feet and ran out the back door.

"WHERE, IS, HE! WHERE'S ST. JOHN?" A very angry and bright yellow Sabertooth stormed in.

"He just ran for it," said Gambit.

Sabertooth eyes flicked around the kitchen. "Oh no, he's gotten into the sugar again."

Gambit nodded, "Yep."

"Comrades, what's going on and why are you yellow, Sabertooth?" asked Colossus as he walked into the kitchen.

"Two words, mon ami," said Gambit. "Sugar, Pyro."

Colossus sighed, "Again?"

"We better go find him before he sets something on fire," said Sabertooth.

Gambit walked over to a drawer and pulled out three rolls of duct tape. "I t'ink we're goin t' need dis." He handed a roll of tape to the other two.

They headed out the back door. Sabertooth and Colossus both grabbed fire extinguishers . Once outside it didn't take the three very long to find Pyro. All they had to do was follow the smell of smoke and the sound of maniacal laughter. The three rounded the corner and saw Pyro dancing around a bonfire.

"Burn! Burn! Burn moy pritty!" laughed Pyro as he danced around the fire. "Hahahahaa! Burn! Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaaa!"

"On t'ree we jump him," whispered Gambit.

"One," said Colossus.

"Two," said Sabertooth.

"T'ree!" yelled Gambit.

The three lept on Pyro.

"Oy! Git off moye," yelled Pyro, thrashing around.

"Surrender," growled Sabertooth.

"Never!" yelled Pyro, as he created three tigers made out of flames. The three flame tigers lept on Gambit, Colossus and Sabertooth. "Hahahahahahaaaa! Sick them moy pets," cackled Pyro, hopping around in a circle.

"I'm giving you until the count of three before I get really mad," snarled Sabertooth, sending the flame tiger to the ground with a spectacular right hook.

Pyro ignored him. "Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!"

"You're really asking for it, St. John," warned Sabertooth.

Pyro still ignored him.

"DIE!" Sabertooth lept for Pyro, claws extended.

Pyro, sensing his immanent danger, turned and ran like the wind.

Sabertooth began chasing him around the yard. "Don't you run from me! Get back here!"

Pyro sent a flame dragon at Sabertooth and ran off, vanishing back into the base.

"When I get my hands on him..." growled Sabertooth.

"Gambit can see why Pyro's parents sent him t' d'e funny farm," muttered Gambit, brushing the dust off his trench coat.

"We better go find him again, before he sets the base on fire," said Colossus.

"You got a point mon ami," said Gambit. "Mags wouldn't be happy if d'e base burned down."

The three ran to the base after Pyro.

"It's quiet, too quiet," growled Sabertooth as he and the other two moved cautiously down the hall towards the game room.

"Gambit gettin' the feelin' dat Pyro's up t' somet'ing." Gambit opened the game room door and the three looked in. Everything was in its place. Nothing was amiss. "Gambit don't like dis."

"Ello mates," said Pyro, waving cheerfully at the three from across the room.

"Pyro, come with us and we'll get you somet'ing t' negate all d'e sugar in your system," said Gambit.

"Like a straitjacket," muttered Sabertooth.

"No way mates, oy'm havin' too much fun," said Pyro, grinning.

"Um, comrades, I don't think..." began Colossus.

"Fine," roared Sabertooth as he and Gambit lunged for Pyro, not paying any attention to Colossus.

**(Click, snap, splash!)**

Gambit and Sabertooth both stopped dead. They were covered in electric blue paint.

Colossus, who'd been smart and stayed by the door, sighed. "I tried to warn you."

"Oy think that blue is your guys' color," laughed Pyro.

"There aren't any more traps, are there?" asked Sabertooth, looking back at Colossus.

"No," he answered.

"Good, den we all know what t' do," said Gambit. The other two nodded.

"Um, mates?" asked Pyro nervously.

**(RIP! RIP! RIP!)**

Two and a half minutes later Pyro was duct taped to the wall by three rolls of duct tape. All you could see of the Pyromaniac was his head.

"Get moye down!" yelled Pyro as he tried to wriggle free.

"Non, not 'til we get some ritalin down you," said Gambit. "Colossus, could you go get it for us?"

"Sure, comrades," said Colossus, heading for the kitchen where the ritalin was kept.

"Oy want down!" yelled Pyro.

Sabertooth and Gambit ignored him.

"Oy mean it! Let moye down," yelled Pyro as he began creating a lion made from the flames of a candle.

"Oh, non you don't," said Gambit, as he and Sabertooth turned the fire extinguishers on the candle and the lion.

"Gurr!" growled Pyro, looking really annoyed.

"Comrades, we've got a problem," said Colossus as he walked back into the room.

"What?" asked Sabertooth and Gambit together.

"We are out of ritalin," answered Colossus.

"Oh, great!" groaned Sabertooth.

"We have another problem too," said Colossus with a sigh.

"Now what?" asked Gambit.

Colossus pointed at the wall. "Pyro escaped."

"What!" exclaimed Gambit and Sabertooth. They turned to stare at where Pyro had been a moment before. Sure enough he was gone and the duct tape was on the floor.

"How'd he do dat?" asked Gambit, staring at the duct tape.

"We'd better go find him," growled Sabertooth.

"What's the use? We don't got any ritalin and we're out of duct tape," said Gambit.

"I think there is a saying you Americans have," said Colossus. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

Gambit lept to his feet. "Gambit'll go get the bags of Pixie Stix." He ran out of the room.

"I'll go get the Jolt Cola and Pyro," said Colossus. He found Pyro with his head in the 'fridg. "Is there any Jolt Cola left?" he asked.

Pyro jumped and smacked his head against the top shelf in the 'fridg. "What?"

"Is there any Jolt Cola left?" repeated Colossus.

"Why do you want to know?" asked Pyro curiously.

"Because we are out of ritalin, so we might as well join you on the sugar high.

"COOL!" exclaimed Pyro. He began pulling things from the 'fridg. "We'll need this and this, oh, and some of this."

Gambit came back to the game room and found Sabertooth looking through a pile of junk food. Gambit tossed the bags of Pixie Stix on the pile and grabbed a double chocolate chip cookie.

**Four hours later.**

Magneto was walking down the hall when he heard music. He quickly followed the music down the hall to the game room. When he walked in he saw Pyro, Gambit, Sabertooth and Colossus dancing around the room singing. "Everybody groove to the music, everybody jam." Magneto also saw that the floor was covered in pop cans and candy wrappers. Without a word Magneto turned and left the room. _I knew that I should have given them another word list,_ he thought.


End file.
